Ghetto Country Proverb

Okay ladies and gentleman, get your Bibles ready.  Due to popular demand, here is what you’ve all been waiting for…
Yes, that’s right…

The ghetto country acrostic of Proverbs 31…..
Written by Erika, Courtney, and Mel

Quick disclaimer…this is meant in no way to mock the word of God.  We had a Sunday school assignment to rewrite Proverbs 31:10 – 31 in contemporary language.  In the olden days, it was a Hebrew acrostic turned into a hymn.  An acrostic, for those of you scratching your head, is a poem that begins with certain letters, in this case the ABCs, A-V.  The writer of this proverb wrote it in this form so as for young people to memorize it more easily.  So, our assignment was to do the same thing, make an acrostic of the proverb, just in contemporary English….

So after much wait, here it is….

WAIT!  WAIT!  WAIT!  Before you read the ghetto country version, the one I like to call the Blairsvegas Woman, why don’t you read the real one first?  Get the Bible out and look up Proverbs 31:10-31.  It’s not that long…and it will help you understand the Blairsvegas version better.

NOW….the ghetto country Blairsvegas acrostic of Proverbs 31!

A good woman is hard to find, like jewels
Bubba (her husband) is confident in her
Creates good things all the time
Don’t diss the flax, yo
Even from far away comes her food
For her family and servants, she rises up and provides
Got a good field?  She’ll buy it.
Her bod is like….amazingly buff
Investments rock
Jammin’ all night long with a needle, yo
Kind and generous to the homies on da street
Let it snow, Let it snow, she got it covered
Majestic purple threads, she in it
Noble wife = Noble man
Out on da streets selling her goods
Put on a smile, Don’t worry, be happy mon!
Quiet, da boss lady is speaking!
Ready for anything
Sing out a song about yo favorite momma!
Totally the bomb momma, yo!
U R btr than prtty, u r off the hizzie fo God
Very vivacious, vavoom, give that woman some room!

WORD!